I am 20 years old. Self loathing. Nothing is enough. And I think people catch onto that. This blog is pretty much everything about me in one URL.
Instagram = Imtheglitterqueen
I'm only on tumblr on my phone, so that might mess up some posts.
So even though josh makes me want to rip off my own face sometimes, he really has done a lot of good for me. I can tell that since I’ve been with him my anxiety level is way more under control. After everything that we go through he stays calm and has a “well… Oh well” attitude instead of depression or anger taking over. His car met its demise yesterday and that is our ONLY form of transportation. We could have been hurt really bad had we not gotten out of the car in time. Now our entire money situation is completely turned upside down. We’re rushed to find a new car without completely fucking ourselves over. We both have issues and pressures in our professional lives. But when we lay down together, feel eachothers warmth, cuddle, fall asleep, put our arms around eachother, comb my fingers through his hair, it’s like everything is okay and we both know not to worry. He really is great.
Things are falling into place reallllyy well for me. And not that I believe in karma, but I’m grateful that good things are happening for me. I didn’t think I’d ever end up a homeless jobless wreck or anything, but my self esteem was going down the drain real quick. Buy I aced the fuck out my job interview and practically got it on the spot. I start on Saturday and have 32 hours scheduled this week already. I’m afraid that having a job will put a strain on my relationship, but I think itll be okay. We’re strong and can work through anything I hope. Having money is nice. I worked at Z Bistro today and I’m working there tomorrow just to help out and I really like it. The two women are chill as fuck. And it’s only for 3 hours and it’s waaayyyy less stressful than the fair. Which I would like to continue working but I don’t wanna work 30 hours at Walgreens and then turn around and work a 12 hour shift at the fair and be fucking exhausted. Mainly because when I’m tired I get cranky and upset and then I get irritable and then I pick and start fights with josh. And its just not healthy for me. But it’s quick money and I like that place. Who knows, we’ll see. And I need to learn how to be a morning person.
Anyways, I’m grateful for everyone that has been giving me a chance lately. I can’t wait to get a car and a social life and maybe even a further education.