I am 20 years old. Self loathing. Nothing is enough. And I think people catch onto that.
This blog is pretty much everything about me in one URL.
Instagram = Imtheglitterqueen
I'm only on tumblr on my phone, so that might mess up some posts.
looky loos
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I really like this picture too.
Boyfriend appreciation post
So even though josh makes me want to rip off my own face sometimes, he really has done a lot of good for me. I can tell that since I’ve been with him my anxiety level is way more under control. After everything that we go through he stays calm and has a “well… Oh well” attitude instead of depression or anger taking over. His car met its demise yesterday and that is our ONLY form of transportation. We could have been hurt really bad had we not gotten out of the car in time. Now our entire money situation is completely turned upside down. We’re rushed to find a new car without completely fucking ourselves over. We both have issues and pressures in our professional lives. But when we lay down together, feel eachothers warmth, cuddle, fall asleep, put our arms around eachother, comb my fingers through his hair, it’s like everything is okay and we both know not to worry. He really is great.
First present of the day! I got my first Sonia kashuk makeup brush from my baby!! Yay!!
@joshwilsonnn brought me to cherry berry because today sucks and I feel poopy. :( frozen yogurt should fix it tho. Hopefully. #cherry #berry #headache #boyfriend #needed #a #getaway (Taken with Instagram)
This is my life. -_- with @joshwilsonnn #stupid #lame #hate #dumb #idiot #jackass #dummy #boyfriend #overit #loser #more #mean #stuff (Taken with Instagram)
Blueberry from my baby!! @joshwilsonnn #love #food #foodporn #boyfriend #awesome #igers #jj_forum #jj #pretty #foodstagram (Taken with instagram)
Incase you were wondering, this is why me and @joshwilsonnn are perfect for each other. We both hate selfish annoying firstworldproblems people! #mlish #mylifeissohard #firstworldproblems #annoying #facebook #fb #boyfriend (Taken with instagram)
We’re adorable. @joshwilsonnn #boyfriend #love #josh #cute #emoji #kiss #lips #conversation #convo #text #message #boy #girl (Taken with instagram)
MEEP!!! 💗 @joshwilsonnn #boyfriend #girlfriend #eyes #weirdo #meep #love #bed (Taken with instagram)
I want to go on adventures this summer. The best time of my life was when i was 15yrs old and me and rachel had just started being friends and i finally had a friend that could drive and we could actually go do things. I had started being friends with Jeff and he wasn’t a psychopath to me yet and he actually cared about me. I didnt have a boyfriend and didnt even want one. Not that I was even “happy” with myself, I just didn’t give a fuck. I was hanging out with people that loved me and that were there for me and things were just amazing. Then after that things got complicated. I fell inlove with someone emotionally unaviable, I truly hated someone for the first time, I got kicked out of my house, I was losing touch with reality, I became hateful, and my sanity started slipping. A boy tried to manipulate me and emotionally ruin me so he could get by. I no longer had super fun adventures. Everything was just a fucking hassle. Just to be in the same room with him was annoying at best.
Now I’m with someone that actually cares about me and has emotions invested into me. Our struggles are hopefully over for the most part and I want this summer to atleast be comparable to when I was 15. I’m old enough to go to shows, I have a great job, I have the friends that I need and want, I have an awesome boyfriend, and an awesome brother. I’m going to try and go to a rave atleast once a month, have a dinner & date night atleast once a month, and fucking go hard this summer. I want shit to start feeling amazing. I wanna do bad stuff and explore and listen to good fucking music and party it up and make cute clothes and start paying less and less attention to the internet world and more on the real fucking world. I want to travel out of the fucking state and spend all my money and I wanna have sex in a car and I wanna get tan and wear slutty ass clothes and I wanna drink more water and wash my face every day and buy a swim suit and wear it more than 3 times. I wanna yell at people and kiss cats.
And I REALLY want to go to a house party that has a pool. That’d be so fun. I doubt 60% of this stuff will even happen but I really want it to. I want Josh to actually WANT to do things with me and I want to break out of this fucking shell I’ve been forced to have because that shit just isn’t me. I like climbing over fences and eating ice cream and riding bikes.
@joshwilsonnn #hair #curly #boyfriend #love (Taken with instagram)
My feet are coming after you @joshwilsonnn!!! #feet #callofduty #boyfriend (Taken with instagram)
Things are falling into place reallllyy well for me. And not that I believe in karma, but I’m grateful that good things are happening for me. I didn’t think I’d ever end up a homeless jobless wreck or anything, but my self esteem was going down the drain real quick. Buy I aced the fuck out my job interview and practically got it on the spot. I start on Saturday and have 32 hours scheduled this week already. I’m afraid that having a job will put a strain on my relationship, but I think itll be okay. We’re strong and can work through anything I hope. Having money is nice. I worked at Z Bistro today and I’m working there tomorrow just to help out and I really like it. The two women are chill as fuck. And it’s only for 3 hours and it’s waaayyyy less stressful than the fair. Which I would like to continue working but I don’t wanna work 30 hours at Walgreens and then turn around and work a 12 hour shift at the fair and be fucking exhausted. Mainly because when I’m tired I get cranky and upset and then I get irritable and then I pick and start fights with josh. And its just not healthy for me. But it’s quick money and I like that place. Who knows, we’ll see. And I need to learn how to be a morning person.
Anyways, I’m grateful for everyone that has been giving me a chance lately. I can’t wait to get a car and a social life and maybe even a further education.
That awesome moment when you have an amazing boyfriend. #presents #bracelet #juicycouture #juicy #gold #gifts #boyfriend #beautiful #jewelry #accessories #fashion (Taken with instagram)
Me and the boyfriend at fatass buffet. #love #food #buffet #chinese #asain #broccoli #rice #rolls #dinner #eating #boyfriend #pepsi #shopping #swag (Taken with instagram)
